babySaid

Rocking the boat -- sheSaid

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 09:29:06 America/New_York

Babies and sleep. I posted awhile ago about how I was happy with how things were going. Sometime last week I changed my mind.

I decided to rock the boat.... make a change.

First up what did the sleep look like?
He was going to sleep on my lap on the couch while we watched TV (I KNOW I KNOW! but for the longest time I was like hey I am not spending an hour getting him down upstairs and running back up every hour and resettling him, I WANT a break, so F'it) heSaid would carry him up around 10 or 11 when we went to bed. He would wake up and nurse every hour or two till say 8. (then the time change came and it was 7 ug!)
I didn't feel tired ALL. OF. THE. TIME.... but I kinda do now.

Now I am feeling like, F'IT! I want to sleep you know in 4 hour chunks... at least 1! I want to knit and cuddle with my hubby when we are watching TV.

So I sat in my own little head, and then share with heSaid trying to think about what I desired and what babySaid was capable of at this point and then deciding how we were going to get there.

For many reasons (and I can discuss them if you really want it*) I think he still needs to nurse SOME at night (most esp. on those nights where he is sick/teething/ or developing, but as this has slowed down I think we might have more than a day or two in the clearing to work on over all sleep). I also know he can go 4-6 hours without nursing during the day (ok he gets really pissed as we approach 6 hours) so I think aiming for 4-5 hour blocks (or at least one) is totally do able.
I can't tell him we are going to do this... um hello he just wont get it. He will also be a bit confused when we just switch things up on him, but I feel that as long as we are there with him he can also handle that.

There are many times during the day as a toddler that what he wants and what is going to happen do not align. Often he cries. The way I deal with that is to let him cry. I hold him, or pat him or offer some comfort but I make no attempt to stop te crying... it's ok to cry when you are frustrated. Then I offer him something else to do and sometimes that works, and sometimes he keeps crying. Sometime I stay there with him and sometimes what needed to be done was for me to not be holding him, and I walk away, and check back on him in a bit.

This fits with where he is right now and it fits with me. So I am applying those some concepts to sleep.

The nights that he was not in OBVIOUS discomfort... it worked or he slept 4+ hours before waking up.

It's hard for ME to rock the boat. In the middle of the night if I am not pissed off from lack of sleep (and really this actually takes alot) I have always found it much easier (and quicker to get sleep) to nurse and then sleep... to not nurse, to comfort and withhold takes MORE time for everyone to get back to sleep.

Also we are working on an evening ritual. A NEW ONE. Involving me getting to be babyfree for an hour or two in the evening... and that I am REALLY enjoying, though it is also hard. A few nights a week heSaid is tackling the going to bed routine while I go out elsewhere.

It's a little hard for me, all of this change.... all of this change I WANT. It means forcing myself out of habits, habits that got that way because they were the path of least resistance for all of us. Now it's like swiming cross current. But we are all moving at a pace we are capable of... and at somepoint we will get to our goal.

* It always seems like the issues that come up are circular. He needs to nurse at night because he is not getting enough calories during the day. I can't force him to eat more solids during the day (and yes we are TRYING to increase those) so I would need to nurse more. Except I am not offering nursing any more, I will nurse if he wants to, but I no longer offer... this is working to get him to eat more solids.... but um NOT enough to not eat at night. *THROWING HANDS UP IN DISGUST*

Toddling Toddler - 15mo? OMG -- heSaid -- sheSaid

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:51:21 America/New_York

babySaid has a new routine. As I am sure I described before, we have put his toddler bed, at the foot of the family bed. So he now has a way that he can crawl from our bed, to his bed, and then to the floor.

In the morning, I wake up, go into the bathroom and start the shower. I hear the usual scratching at the door, and when I open it, I don't see the cat as I would have once expected, I now see a babySaid looking up at me. He giggles, and toddles his way into the room and starts trying to climb into the tub.

I then have to help him get undressed and set him in the shower. He loves playing the shower in the morning. His cousin pheonixNurse got him a shower stickable bubble maker and he will splash and turn on the bubbles and do everything in his power to assure that a certain heSaid, doesn't get the chance to shower in peace.

I admit, I don't mind at all. We play with his submarine, and his squirting fish, and we spell obscene words on the wall with his sticky letters.

Obscene words such as NAP, SLEEP, and CILANTRO. I try to get him to spell TOMATO, but some how, he got the gene that allows him a taste for those horrific little fruits. And yes, I verified, a Tomato is a fruit. Sorry, tangent.

Anyway, I wash up, step out, dry off, and then catch him cause he likes to dive out when you leave. I then take him back into see sheSaid before I leave for work (or I get him read to go to his Montesorri depending on the day). heSaid does not BRING babySaid to me, babySaid bangs on the door till while his diaper is being put on and then he RUNS to the bed, climbs up and cuddles with me all wet untill he has had his fill, then... he starts playing on the bed, jumping and throwing himself and piling ontop of me.

This time is really great because with it getting dark so early, I don't get to spend a lot of time with him in the evenings. But we still walk together, even if it is dark.

Some of the other things we do, is to run around the house, he prefers diaper free, and we chase eachother, and we have tickle fights and we dog pile on sheSaid, and we laugh... So much fun to be had. He has also found he enjoys the Wii Fit. He is not really old enough to play properly, but he likes to sit on the balance board, whether you are playing, or not. And he likes to hold onto my leg while I am weighing in. Makes me seem heavier than I am, but he laughs so much, how could you be upset.

This month has been filled with so many signs that he is growing up. He can now put the right blocks in their respective holes!

Exciting Blocks! from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

He's has some toddler temper tantrums, he has very clear wants and his own ways to inform you of them, and he slept through his first election.

He spent time with his grandparents (biological families and adopted families) in Traverse City, we went to some apple orchards, checked out Tandem Ciders, learned to play the piano, and after a nice long weekend, we came home.

Some of the other things we did, we celebrated Halloween! Our favorite holiday!!! babySaid went as Frankenstein! We got pumpkins from grandpa, and babySaid loved all of the pumpkins. BALL! He also was very interested in them once the top was cut off. He kept taking the lid on and off over and over again... later as we were carving it we noticed he has also been putting his toys in it :)

Our neighboorhood has a kids halloween parade the weekend before halloween which we participated in. babySaid loved seeing all of the other kids, and of course, making music. Halloween we had perfect weather, warm calm and all of the neighbors sat on the porch to hand out candy. heSaid and babySaid trick or treated, and I handed out candy. By trick or treating I mean the walked the sidewalks, back and forth between the same few houses... he liked the decorations.

Trick or treating! from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

Trick or treat 2! from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

And I cannot get by without mentioning that within 2 hours of when he hit his 15 month birthday, we elected the first black president of the United States. And I hope he later reads back to this and sees that he was with us, although asleep, when Barack Obama gave his speech after being elected.

And of course, we cannot forget that we snuck in some video gaming, he has his own keyboard so he can 'help.'

sheSaid -

We have new words to add to what he can say.

ISH - fish. He loves to see fish, I first heard him say this while we were in TC pointing to a fish tank... we don't have one so I realized this was a word he had learned at daycare as they have a fish tank.

boyah, beya- ok so this might seem like we throw these words around our house alot like um... beeyatch. BUT I think it's just that he is putting together sounds... yes that has to be it!

OhYeah - can't even tell you how cute that one is!

Go - as in go outside, or go to the park

He knows that he needs to get dressed to go outside. So when he gets tired of being subtle (screaming and pointing to the door) he brings me the clothes he needs. Shoes (his and mine) and will even bring pants or a sweater to you to have you help him put them on. He knows how to help get himself dressed, and also how to not help :) He really does love to be chased around the house WHILE getting dressed.

Whenever we do anything he wants to help. Unload the dishwasher, fold laundry (I know one thing that happens to missing socks), plants bulbs (he had to have his own tool and help my mom and me), brush hair, sweep. It's great. Except things now take twice as long. I had to explain to him that the dustpan sweeper was for brusing the floor and not hair, and he picked it up quickly.

We often take walks with our next door neighboor. If both of them our outside and the hear the other one they run to see each other. She is about 3 months older than him and it is so much fun to see how they interact. On our walks they have taken to holding each other's hands. We get to practise sharing quite a bit with her. They seem to always want the same toy. Or whatever she is eating.
Actually he likes to eat now, but only if he is eating what others are. So if we eat something, he wants it, but if we are not eating, he wont either... which means eating at daycare is still hit and miss.

He still loves PEOPLE, CATS, and MUSIC. oh and the best thing in the whole world... GOING OUTSIDE. But today we had our first dusting of...SNOW... we will see how this plays out!

babySaid --> toddlerSaid? -- heSaid -- sheSaid

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:32:46 America/New_York

This morning, I took babySaid to his Montessori and as we walked up to the door of the infant room, he fought out of my arms, and while I was setting my shoes on the shelves, he ran into the play area. 2 months ago, I would ave walked in with an infant clinging to me as if his life depended on me staying with him at daycare, I would have to sign him in, and set him down, and distract him enough that he would only scream a little bit as I snuck out of the room. This morning was very eye opening for me. Not only are his changes easy to see, but they affect him more than just a physical level. He is growing up.

What does this mean for us? Well, it means that his personality is very strong and confident. And although he isn't speaking much he is a good communicator.

For instance, he has learned that we like to put his shoes on before we go outside. He will bring his shoes to you, set them on your lap, grunt a few times, and then when you put them on, he walks over to the front door points/pounds on the door, and grunts some more. Despite how ignorant I pretend to be, he is too good. I know what he wants.

Or even go to the PARK!!!

playground from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

swining and giggling from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

I am really amazed at how he much he is growing. Actually, I think that "Developing" is a better word. When we open the front door now, he walks/crawls out of the house, cautiously backs down the steps, and then walks down the walkway, turns right, walks to the end of the street, turns right before he gets to the street and takes the sidewalk down Oakwood to the park. He knows EXACTLY where he is going, and that is the only direction we can go.

If you try and convince him to go the other direction we have a toddler moment. He throws himself on the ground and cries. This is happening more frequently. We just pat his back, admit its unfair and try and distract him or make him laugh. Laughing is a great balm for all frustrations his and ours. He makes us laugh so much with his antics. His decisiveness, and how it leads him to be so grown up! He wants to climb up into chairs and sit in them like a big boy. He really thinks he can play with all the big kids! He wants your help, but to do most of the work himself.

He can pick up balls and throw them, kick them (including the acorn squash I bought... because it's a ball too). He can use a spoon to feed me and himself (most of the soup might end up on our shirts but he gets the idea). He can mimic the rythm of a song, if not the words. He is still mean to the cats (recently 'petting' them with a wooden spoon) and still loves them.

On the whole eating thing... he does eat more, but he seems to prefer feeding us.

Feeding Mom from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

He went to his first concert this month. There was a Ombama rally Bruce Springsteen Concert on the EMU campus and we went. He loved the music, the people, riding on the bus... now I just am working on getting him to chant O-BA-MA.... I think we can make it happen ;)

We recently found Wonder Pets a horrible yet wonderful program. Wonderful, because babySaid really likes it. Horrible because OMG he loves it and it is SO BAD! But sheSaid can now go out in the evenings and come home not to a screaming baby, but to a dancing laughing (even if tired and hungry) toddler. This month we have seen the biggest change in that area. Daddy can now help soothe him. That and all of the laughs, us laughing with him and at him!

chocolate addict from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

directed by a toddler from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

Untitled from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

Sitting in the big chair from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

We are walking! -- sheSaid

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:19:15 America/New_York

Tuesday he started walking a few steps between things. More than just putting two or three steps together but something really resembling walking. By yesterday he would walk across the office and nearly the length of our sidewalk. Still crawling at times (its faster) but he is very delighted with himself.

We are walking! from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

1+1=13 -- -- sheSaid

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:02:10 America/New_York

No.

That is the answer.
No he is not walking yet. Oh he can.... Actually the other day at the library he stood up, hopped twice and then went back to crawling. HOPPED! But so far walking only happens with held hands.
But he can climb, EVERYTHING!

And No.
No he is not really eating anything... actually his daycare finally captured it. He Does Not Eat.

But actually he has been eating more solids, and some of it has even slide albeit accidentally down his throat. I know this... because I know him in the intimate way only a parent can.... by the consistency of his poop.... and it is getting a bit more solid.

Awww... didn't you all really want to know that? I betcha did! So if you ask me if he is eating... you might get to hear about his poop... now you have been warned.

He now says the following

Ball (for anything ball like, or you now round, or actually anything he really likes.....)

Cat (Gat actually)

Dadda

Momma (rarely used and mostly when he wants to nurse)

Hiya (Aya - this is how he calls me)

This (more like Dis, and then he points. Like to my chest in order to say nurse!)

Out (aut is more how it sounds, and only when he is not melting down because we wont take him outside at the moment)

That (or Dat used like dis and sometimes they sound very similar)

He also mimics noises, like the blender, coffee grinder and vacuum. He will sing along to music, ba ba ba, and sign to himself in the car or on walks. His musical abilities have already far surpassed mine.

Reading is now something he will not only tolerate but also gets excited/insistent about. He will bring me a book and sit long enough for me to almost get through it. Sometimes he turns the pages for me (hurrying me along) and then picks the next book he wants. This is just one example of how he has started to let his wants known and one way I really enjoy.

The ways I don't enjoy as much as when i remove a rock from his mouth or hand and he throws himself on the ground and starts to cry. That technique is his way of saying 'I am frustrated' and many things can set this off. Not going outside when he is clearly pointing and saying Aut! Not understanding what he was trying to communicate. Or just not doing exactly what he wants whether or not he has made it clear to us.

Sometimes we don't understand what he is trying to communicate (but this is actually rare, and if we do slow down and try and get it he gets happy again), but mostly it becomes a conflict between what he wants and what we want. I don't see any reason to have battles of wills with him.
So OK! fine you can hold a rock in your mouth, but can we make it a bigger one? one you are less likely to swallow. How about we give some bark a try instead of the asphalt? yes? that will avoid your meltdown.
Sometimes its just unavoidable. Sometimes the direction we NEED to go and where you want to go are different. So I just try and explain it to him, and let him know I get that he is upset and frustrated and it's ok to feel that way, but in this case we still have to do what I want. Oh and OH LOOK! SHINY!

He is still cautious and daring at the same time. We recently went to our first toddler birthday party, held at one of those kids play centers. They market them as a place where kids can play safely while the parents relax drinking coffee. Sure the kids can play (the play area is like those nickelodeon game show courses you always wanted to get to run through) but relax? I guess if you can relax with the cacophony of 10,000 screaming kids sure. We kept babySaid to the smaller kid area but there was still plenty in there which was new and more physically demanding than he had the skills for. He has climbing down, but the first run down the slide was face first hands flailing with a face plant at the end. But after that he figured out all on his own butt first. Nothing could intimidate him to hold back completly, but if it was new and he was unsure he went slowly (and butt first).

This month he had his first hair cut. I didn't want it to happen. I LOVED his curls. But well.... it was getting to be a bit much, a bit of a mullet, and while I was camping heSaid made the hair app. for him. I was asked how he did, since I had no way to gauge this I really didn't know. I had never tried to trim a baby's hair before, I KNOW how to sit stil and let the work get done around me. But I was told, with his age and how good it looked he MUST have done good. It was a three person job though. Trying to entertain him/hold him still/ keeping him from turning his head towards the scissors. Our hair dresser did a great job and managed not to scream with frustration or cut herself, so success all around.

Except, um, instantly he turned into a little boy! I loved playing with his curls while I stroked his head. I still can run my hands through his hair (seriously this kid has ALOT of hair) but it made him look so much older instantly. I don't think I was ready for it. We might not be walking so I guess he's not a toddler, but sheesh he sure doesn't look like a baby anymore. I didn't LOVE the infant stage, which I discussed at length on here. But that doesnt mean I am ready for him to grow up. Actually I am really happy right where we are (except for when I am not, like when I get woken up every 45 min all night long again because of a cold/teething) he is still super cuddly and also has such personality. He gives the best hugs, he waves, cries if you walk away without waving bye first, gives big wet kisses, laughs with us when we do silly things.

So it's lots of fun, and i am enjoying it (maybe not every single second, but I am savoring it all) and seeing him grow up with a single hair cut pulled out the sappy part of me.

365, 12, 1 -- heSaid -- sheSaid

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:29:39 America/New_York

August 5th, 2008 -- 1st Birthday!

We are very late getting this up, but the toddlerness is kicking our asses! This is a joint effort and has been in process since his birthday.

Untitled from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

This month has been really fun, and very busy. heSaid started a new job (which rocks) so we all get more time together and heSaid takes babySaid to daycare in the mornings. sheSaid has been working in about 6 directions at once hoping one or more will pay off. All in all it's been great, but it does not leave much time for composing this update. Also I feel some pressure with this one. It's a big event, he's turned one year, we all survived, there is so much to cover.... so I think the imtimidation factor played in to it all too.

But off with the excuses and on with the update. This past year has seen babySaid go from tiny helpless bundle to happy energetic toddler.

This month, babySaid has started talking more.

He says "Hi", this is amazing to hear, cause he is so overwhelmed to see you coming he has this very excited "Hiiiiiiiii!" that comes from the deepest part of him. He is stingy with his hi's and they seem to come out when he is overwhelmed by emotion at seeing you. The first time was to me (sheSaid) picking him up from daycare, and now he has given it to heSaid and also grandmaSaid.

While his grandparents were visiting from TC he got really good at saying BALL. Or as he say's baaaaaal. With reverence. For his birthday heSaid bought his 3 red mylar balloons. Those balloons save him from meltdown. He will be very upset, see those and with the tears still in his eyes stop crying and go baaaaal?
He also will repeat it over and over, happy to be able to say something and have us understand. If one of us says ball and there is not one visible to him, he starts looking all around for it.

Baaaaall from Marc Cabrera on Vimeo.

He has been standing up all on his own in the middle of the room since around the 4th of July but he is now practicing steps. He has taken a few try's one step forward and then falling. But he loves to hold our hands and practically RUN forward, giggling and dragging us all over the place. Sometimes this is the only way he will go some place.

babySaid has shown us many physical developments, but he has also shown us many developments that show us how smart he is. He can now go up AND down steps, he can climb on anything, I think he is a better swimmer than I am, and I love to watch him think things through and I am really impressed with the desicions he makes. He will be standing up in the tub, and he pulls the lever that makes the water come out of the shower. Then he looks up at the showerhead, and then looks to you to see your reaction as you get splashed in the face with water. It is amazing to see how he already understands so much, and how he puts things together.

He is fearless and cautious together, which I find amazing (and feel slightly blessed by!). He loves to climb steps and throw things down. But when he is at the top he lays down on his tummy to reach something on the top step instead of reaching and falling head first. He can now also go down a few steps. He cautiously lowers one foot and then the other. He backs up to things and goes very slowly. He has practised walking up and down steps with help too this week.

Some days we just sit back and watch amazed as he shows us something he just figured out and then does it over and over and over till he knows he has it right.

Though he does do some crazy foolish things.... like climbing up on his rocking chair and then standing on it facing backwards and rocking.... and then trying to use it to climb onto the couch....

He loves being outside. He will be very quiet if we are outside just taking it all in. Sometimes he will climb up on things so he can look outside (screaming with excitement) and when that is not enough he lets me know he wants to actually go outside.

Ok, so maybe part of the love of outside is also all the things he can eat/suck on/taste/chew. It has gotten to the point of strange too. He likes to lick bricks... and when we were at grandma's pool he cared much more about eating the slag then splashing in the water. And we are observing the emerging toddler in him with this issue. If you remove said not-appropriate-to-eat item from him he metls down into hysterics. His body becomes limp, falling to the ground, his face screws up and he cries so pathetically. So we are working on our techniques for this :)

He is definitely showing interest in food. In fact, he stole a piece of Falafel from me, and ate/destroyed the entire thing... So Proud. Weep. However, at his recent Dr. app we got the results of his blood test and he is anemic... which means we really need to get him to eat iron rich foods (egg yolk, liver, sea weed) I am really looking forward to this..... it's going to be fun. Oh wait.....

He actually did really amazing getting his blood drawn. I went first (sheSaid) and he watched, then I held him and another lady held his arm and a second one drew the blood. He made an eh, noise when the blood first started going and that was about it. They took three vials and said they almost never have a kid not cry.

He is such a trooper. I am amazed over and over again at how well he does is so many situations. He is great at daycare; gets along with the other kids, is happy, naps, and hardly cries. When I need to run errands or get things done he holds up really well getting in and out of the car. And if I need to work (unless it is at the computer) he does so well. I was a vendor at the Garden Walk recently, which ment a whole day of being outside, not having much access to momma, his naps being all messed up and he (and heSaid) were so amazing. Yesterday I spent almost 7 hrs doing photoshoots for the Garden Walk, in and out of the car seat, me being very much so otherwise occupied, napping in the car. Yes he was fussy and cried some (he is not a huge fan of the carseat) but held up so well and allowed me to work. It is just amazing.

babySaid helped his Momma sell photos at the Belleville Area Garden Walk.

He is growing lots. He has 10 teeth now, his bottom molars have come in. He is over 2.5 feet tall, leaning out and reaching so much more around the house. He is no longer in the 95th percentile but somewhere closer to 75 or 65, which also means he is not going through clothes quite as fast, which is VERY NICE.

We are having lots of fun with him, chasing him through the house, letting him chase us. We can play balls, rolling them back and forth. Right now as I am typing this babySaid and heSaid are chasing each other around the living room, and babySaid will reverse the direction he is going around the table 'tricking' heSaid about which direction to chase. We sing a lot together, he still LOVES music.

He dances and bobs ands and sings along going ba ba ba ba. He makes music with everything. Spoons, balls, measuring cups, his hands.

Reading is finally getting his interest. He will pick up a few books and say 'this' or what sounds like this and hand us a book. Right now he loves animals and animal noises. He likes brown bear brown bear, Doggies, and Pat the bunny. I am relieved he will sit and listen to a book finally.

I have not included images from his birthday part in this update, I will put them in a separate post (hopefully, I think) but you can always see more images on my flickr site

happy BIRTHDAY!!!! -- sheSaid

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 08:31:43 America/New_York

Thank you for this past year babySaid, I cant wait for more fun and laughs and love and life lessons

literacy defender -- sheSaid

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:22:50 America/New_York

This week has been working out really well. heSaid drops baby off at daycare (giving me an extra hour of work time!) and I pick him up. When I picked him up tuesday they had some extra paperwork... and incident report.
babySaid was reading a book and his friend wanted it. babySaid didn't give it over and got BIT for it!

he was injured in defense on literacy!

baby who rocks -- sheSaid

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:41:39 America/New_York

I just want to give a little shout out to babySaid because he was awesome this weekend. We were very busy getting ready for the garden walk, I was selling prints and notecards (so I had to make them) I needed to get my website together (thanks heSaid - and go tell him happy birthday) and then I was selling, and running around taking pictures and then had to go to an afterglow meeting (how to improve the walk for next year). It was a LONG DAY. A long day with very little mom time, no real opportunity for a nap (he had to nap on the fly). And he did great!

Also... he's trying to walk and has taken one step on his own.

HI -- sheSaid

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:16:45 America/New_York

He has said his first word.

HI

he said it to me monday when i picked him up from daycare.
Wednesday when he saw heSaid come home. And then Wednesday night when he saw me and grandma he said it a bunch of times!
he gets very excited when you say hi back, and he knows when to say it to, ONLY when first greeting someone :)